I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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