I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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