So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
