Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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