I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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