I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
time to smoke my breakfast
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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