In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
