i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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