There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
