If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
