Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
