hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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