Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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