didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
