i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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