He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
