Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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