Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
jump out the window naked night went bad
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
