You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
