3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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