I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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