You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
