we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
