I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
