Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
