my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
