So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
