I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
