when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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