just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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