he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
