im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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