mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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