just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
