You're so nebulous sometimes
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
