I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
