I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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