Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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