let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
