return my video game
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
