do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
