worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
