found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize