Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
