I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
