her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this boner is exhausting
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My vagina is officially offended.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
