Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize