This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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