i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
