dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
