We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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