The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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