her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize