The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
