Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You took a bar mat shot.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
