Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize