I'm pants shitting drunk right now
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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