Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
