So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
