capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
